So, I seem to have a pattern. I spend about six months at clinics/wellness centers, and then move on because I don't see the improvement that I need. Today was the 6 month mark at the fourth health center I've been to, and I basically kind of had an exit appointment with my osteopath.
I didn't really know what to do or say at this appointment. I went in and showed her my lab results from my family doctor and the ER. She told me my adrenals (despite having all the symptoms of adrenal issues) really are completely fine. She did notice my iron was low, and drew labs for T3 and T4 today, but really there was no indication on paper as to why I am crashing with new, scary symptoms.
So, we did some muscle testing and it came up with trapped emotions (severe fear/guilt that I'm an inadequate mother/wife), possible T3/T4 imbalance, and a moderate/low Lyme bacteria load. I told her I do feel like my Lyme has tapered off, and that something else was surfacing. So I asked her to test me for Dysautonomia, and we got a huge YES response. She tested me for POTS symptoms and I did have them. I've had these conditions in the back of my mind, but Lyme always overshadowed them. I think it may be time to switch gears. Maybe put Lyme on the back burner, and Dysautonomia in the forefront. I know muscle testing is not 100% accurate, and this may end up being the wrong direction, but when we have NOTHING else to go off of, why not trust energy, instinct, God, and our bodies?
So, somehow I want to focus on Dysautonomia/POTS, which Lyme can cause, as well as trauma (I HAVE BOTH). I don't think there's anything my osteopath can do about it and we agreed there's not really any point in continuing to get IV's when they're not doing anything. I just have to say she is a very wise, wonderful lady, and she did her very best to exhaust all options. She let me lead the way when she felt I should, and I let her lead the way when I thought she should. She tested me for things nobody else did, and we did find lots of new issues. I learned a lot these last few months I was there, and have absolutely fallen in love with the staff. They have been my sweet, wonderful, buddies and I am really going to miss them. I may come back another time if I find a reason to. Even if it is just because I miss the staff.
Well, I have a plan I guess. Even though my parasympathetic nervous system is completely on the fritz, I must continue to plow through. To explore all avenues and exhaust all options. Even though it's scary to fall asleep, even though it's scary to wake up, I HAVE to remain hopeful and I have to keep trying. Even though I'm so dizzy, so weak, so empty, and so tired of trying to act normal around friends and family, I have to plow through. Even though I have stroke symptoms, MS symptoms, Parkinsons symptoms, ALS symptoms, I believe I can get better. I do. I don't think I'm terminal. If I was, wouldn't there be proof? Exactly ;)
This week I see a gastroenterologist, which I've never done before, and then I'm off to an old clinic to have a little checkup with them since they did help me get about 30% last year. I see an internist and a biological dentist next month, and maybe the month after that I'll be a patient at a new health center. My body just has to hold on. Despite getting worse, I have to be patient and hang in there. Even if it's by a fingernail.
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