Waiting Game

Well, I've had five NUCCA treatments. According to new X-RAYS, progress has been made, however, I FELL WORSE! Yet I cannot decide which symptoms are due to the NUCCA and what is due to low iron, full moon, GERD, horrible weather, and my cycle. I can normally suck it up but I had a couple days where I totally lost it. My worst symptom has something to do with my diaphragm. It's like I can't exhale fully. It feels like suffocation, but in reverse. My breathing sounds and looks normal, yet I feel like I don't have oxygen or I'm hyperventilating or something. My face and arms have gone tingly, I have "episodes" that I still can't explain, and the trauma of feeling like I'm suffocating is REALLY taking a toll on me. My worst symptoms seem to come mid morning? I wake up and deal with my crazy nervous system, try to get up and get going, eat, and then I usually crash. Around 11am?

I'm trying to get into my family doc today to check my iron. I have been SO nauseated, which I do attribute to NUCCA and that's normal, but it's making taking iron next to impossible. At first I thought I was having iron overload. It's such a balancing act. You can't have too little and you can't have too less.

So, I'm waiting for that, and am waiting to travel to The Hansa Center. I will be there two weeks from today. I seriously am concerned something horrible will happen on the car ride there. It's so far away! 16 hours from me! I don't want to fly there. I will be flying back, though. It's a whole lot of "middle of nowhere" between Utah and Kansas. I pray they can help me. This will be the fifth clinic I'll have been treated at. I will be blogging as much of my experience there as I possibly can. I will try to blog daily but I can't promise anything.

I'm learning a level of faith and patience that I've never even touched. It feels next to impossible to attain, yet I have no choice.

Whatever we go through in life, no matter how miserably we keep failing, we MUST keep trying. Sometimes I think the whole point of trials is to sometimes JUST keep trying.

At this point I feel like I'm just trying to remain conscious.