ER Again & Different Direction

Well, I tried not to go to the emergency room because we all know what happened last time. However, when you literally feel like your body is going to give out, what do you do? My sweet neighbor took me and this experience was actually very different. I was just there to make sure I was not experiencing a Thyroid Storm or Adrenal Crisis. They were not busy so I feel like I got a lot of extra attention. My room was nice, the NP was nice, my nurses were nice, and the doctor was an absolute angel. He kindly went over all my tests and vitals and basically said they've tested to make sure that my body is NOT going to give out, but I should follow up with specialty testing. They actually did a lot more tests on me this time than they did last time, which I appreciate.

So, I was discharged and I do NOT feel better. I keep getting waves of dying. I don't know how to explain it other than I feel like I'm dying. It's an empty, floating, dark feeling. My lungs and heart do NOT feel right, my limbs don't feel right, my soul doesn't even feel right.

I called my current osteopath who has been treating me and had such a hard time trying to explain what I was experiencing. The only thing she could come up with was I had a panic attack. I told her I know what those are because I had them a lot when I was a teenager, and these "episodes" are happening when I am completely relaxed. I maintain a lot of peace in my life. Quite frankly, I was upset and heartbroken that she would say that. I guess I didn't explain myself very well. We both agree LDI could not have done this, though.

So, I have come to the conclusion that everything I am doing is not making a difference. I have suddenly gotten so bad and there are no answers as to why. Maybe I have gotten handle on my Lyme disease? I think I know what Lyme symptoms feel like and the past few days have been SO different.

So, I have stopped ALL supplements, detoxes, medicines, EVERYTHING. I am just thinking if I need to go in a different direction. I am no different with or without treatment lately. This may sound hypocritical and contradict a lot of what I have previously talked about, and I may just not be in my right mind, but when I REALLY think about it, my 30% better is all I was going to get from Lyme treatments for now. Something else has happened. Something else is wrong.

So, my neighbor and dear friend, who was critically and chronically ill for a decade (wheelchair, oxygen, feeding tube, etc) is helping change my path. She is doing very well now and has so much knowledge and wisdom. We have so many similarities as well so I definitely trust her. She helped me make appointments with new doctors.

So maybe the Lyme is basically cleaned up for the most part and I now have serious damage from it or even maybe from treatments. Maybe my thyroid or adrenals couldn't take anymore. Maybe I have a separate stomach problem. New doctors will help me. Or maybe an LDI flare just maybe shut down and chicken out.

For now, I am basically worthless. I can almost always do small chores and drive short distances. I did drive a short distance once today and I did do my hair, but that's all she wrote. I guess I managed to shower last night, too.

I just truly don't believe Lyme could suddenly out of nowhere destroy me when I did treatment for a whole year. I will keep this blog updated as I pursue new avenues. Like I've said before, it's never JUST Lyme Disease, and I will just have to be patient and figure out what else is wrong. I do have Lyme, and this probably is a flare, but I think I need more help regardless.